10 Biggest Jerks In Greek Mythology
Greek mythology is quite vast. We’re familiar with some tales about the characters, thanks to Hollywood movies. But there are things that will make you wonder ‘Why did people of Greece even worship them?’ Here’s a list of top 10 jerks from Greek mythology as mentioning all of them would take way too long.
Zeus, the King of Gods was known as the father of the universe. The person who crowned him clearly wasn’t good at his job. If he wanted to rape a woman, he didn’t care in what form he had to do it. If someone would refuse to do it, he would resort to other tricks. He once disguised himself as a Goddes, a woman’s long lost husband, a bull and even a golden shower just to ‘rape’ his desired women. Consent? What’s that? He was also good at holding grudges. He chained Prometheus and made an eagle eat his liver every day for eternity. Why? Oh, he was just pissed because Prometheus was nice to us and he gave us fire!
This guy was a Titan and he believed in the prophecy that he’d be overthrown by one of his children. He took this way too seriously and ate all his children. Zeus escaped because his mother fed Chronus a rock in baby clothes. He actually fell for that. If he was so insecure he could have just got them killed. Why did he want to eat them all? Also, he overthrew his own father, Uranus. Bonus fact, he castrated Uranus too.
Feeling bad for what Chronus did to him? Don’t, he probably had it coming. Uranus was ‘sky’ and made love with Gaia, who was ‘earth’ and also his mother. Yep, Greek Gods came up with incest. They were the parents of the first generation of the Titans and the side products were some other monsters too. This pissed Uranus off so he imprisoned the Titans and the monsters in Tartarus. Tartarus was a place very deep in the Earth which technically makes it Gaia’s belly. This physically hurt her too much and she was also mad about the imprisonment of her children. Which is why she conspired with Chronus against Uranus. The castration was her idea.
You’d think at least one in the Hera-Zeus marriage would be rational but nope. Hera was equally stupid and blamed other women for her husband’s infidelity. Well, can’t really confront the King of Gods about cheating. Zeus fucked almost every pretty girl in Greece and Hera wasn’t kind to any of them either. Hera would punish the women even if they refused to indulge in intercourse with Zeus. She would ban them from giving birth and if any children were born, they were killed. She wasn’t that good with her own children either. She threw baby Hephasteus off a mountain just because he was ugly. Umm, hello? You’re a Goddes, you aren’t supposed to be that materialistic.
Lord of the underworld and death, Hades was quite a cool guy. And then he saw Persephone and lost his senses. Since the Greek did not believe in asking a girl out, he just abducted Persephone. Who, unfortunately, was the daughter of Demeter, the goddess of harvest. Everybody was starving to death as Demeter was pissed about her daughter’s disappearance. Zeus eventually convinced Hades to give Demeter, her daughter back. He did so but only after making her eat 6 pomegranate seeds which ensured that she’d have to return to him for 6 months each year. Long story short, he was desperate for some human company in the dark underworld.
Athena was one of the wisest Gods and Goddesses but the lady had a temper. Medusa was a beautiful priestess of hers who was raped by Poseidon. She somehow got mad at Medusa for the fact that she could not put off the advances of the sea God and turned her into a monster. Medusa had snakes for hair nad every living thing she saw would turn into stone. Later, Athena also helped some men murder her. She started the Trojan war because Paris awarded the most beautiful title to Aphrodite. Once, a simple girl won a weaving competition against her. She got so mad that she turned her into a spider. She was a Goddess. Like she’s literally supposed to be above these things.
Being a God wasn’t a necessary condition for being a jerk in Greece. Popular, but not mandatory. Now, what happened was that Jason was the rightful heir to the kingdom of Thessaly. But his uncle had claimed the throne. He told him to get the Golden Fleece in order to prove his claim the throne. The Fleece already belonged to King Aetees. Telling the King your problem and asking for the Golden Fleece? Nope, too mainstream. This guy just stole the thing along with the king’s daughter, Medea. She thought that Jason loved him but she soon learned otherwise. He married some girl from Corinth once he regained the throne of Thessaly.
Before you start feeling bad for her, let us tell you that she was crazy. In order for Jason to flee, a distraction was required. One would think of starting a small fire, throwing some things made noise or breaking glass windows but nope. This psychopath chose to murder her own brother instead. Jason’s uncle, King Pelias, suffered a lot because of her, he deserved it though. She used her magic and tricked his daughters into thinking that drinking soup of their father’s body parts would make them young again. When she was abandoned by Jason, she got a dress for his new bride that burned her alive.
Consequence of an incestuous relationship, Antasous was the son of his father Poseidon and his grandmother, Gaia. Since his grandmother, also his mother was the ‘earth’, he was undefeatable when he was in touch with the ground. He would challenge all the travelers for a wrestling match. Since he was almost invincible he would crush the traveler to death. He then used their skulls to build a temple for his father. However, Hercules killed him mid air.
There are many other examples of him being a douche bag but the best one involves his own son. He sent Androgenous, his son, to fight in the Pan-Athenaeic Games, where he won. The King of Athens then got pissed and tricked the kid to fight a bull, which killed him. Then he demanded the sacrifice of seven young boys and girls from Athens to throw into the Labyrinth, which wasn’t created with very right means or intentions. Poseidon sent him a big white bull, which he promised to sacrifice to God but didn’t. To punish him, Poseidon made his wife fall in love with the bull. Just gonna leave it there.